Santa is a Time Lord

I've always had a little trouble with the whole Santa thing, but as a child who was brought up on British sci-fi like Red Dwarf (supper tonight was chicken vindaloo with poppadoms) and Doctor Who, I found it much easier to swallow once the theory was posed to me that Santa Claus was actually a Time Lord. It makes total sense, and for nerdy families, this provides a perfectly good set of answers to the questions that doubting children pose as the magic of Christmas begins to lose its hold on them.

First of all, Santa visits every home (in which there is at least one child) in the entire world in a single night. Even with time zones, there's just no way he could pull that off in 24 hours without the aid of a little time travel. If his sleigh is, in fact, a TARDIS, he can easily take as much time as he needs to at each house, putting presents under the tree, stuffing stockings, and partaking of a little milk and cookies as he goes.

The TARDIS also removes the second biggest hole in Santa's story: how the heck does he fit all those gifts for all those girls and boys in his sleigh? Easy: it's bigger on the inside. The TARDIS we're used to seeing (the Doctor's) has a faulty chameleon circuit, and has been stuck in the form of a blue police call box as long as we can remember, but there's no reason Santa couldn't make his appear as a sleigh drawn by eight (or nine, if you're counting Rudolph) reindeer.

Another point: I don't know about you, but I didn't have a chimney growing up. I lived in a mobile home with an oil-burning furnace, and I always wondered how exactly Santa got in, when I knew my parents locked the doors at night. This answer works just as well for children who live in apartments or any other home that has no chimney: he probably lets himself in with his sonic screwdriver.

This is what I'm going to tell my children when they ask me how the magic of Santa Claus can be possible, and if I've done my job right, they'll be as pleased with this theory as I am.

(Edited to add: If you Google "Santa is a Time Lord," you will find a number of treatises on the subject that probably make my point even more eloquently than I, and in greater detail.)