My Big Dumb Subway Boycott

A few weeks ago, I had a craving for Subway, so Ian graciously bought us a couple of footlongs at the Subway nearest our apartment here in Bangor. We each ate half for supper that night, and planned on the rest for lunch the next day. His club was fine, but my meatball had a little something extra in it -- a piece of plastic. I set aside the rest of the sandwich (because I didn't quite dare try eating it, in case there was more plastic in there) and the shard, which was quite small but also sharp, and filled out a complaint on their website. I also tweeted a picture of the shard to their Twitter account for good measure.

Small, but sharp. And not very appetizing.

A week passed, with no response. I made a post on their Facebook wall, and they encouraged me to file a complaint. Which, of course, I had already done. So, I made a very sarcastic and biting complaint this time. Still nothing. Another Facebook wall post led them to claim that both of my previous complaints had somehow been lost, and to encourage me to email their customer service department directly, which I did. They claimed they really wanted to make this right by me. All I wanted was an apology, and maybe a replacement for the half of a meatball sub that Ian had paid for but I didn't dare eat. I didn't even want a whole sandwich!

Within hours of sending the email, I received a phone call from their insurance company; they just wanted to make sure that I hadn't been injured or needed to seek medical assistance. In other words, they wanted to make sure I didn't sue. I told the woman on the phone that no, I didn't think I had any grounds to sue them, but I was really disappointed with the way I had been dismissed -- because I don't believe for a moment they lost my complaints. They mustn't have -- my phone number was included on those, but not the email I sent to customer service. She said she would pass along my comments, but whether she did or not remains to be seen. I haven't heard back from Subway.

I know the only reason they made that call was because they were scared. Apparently, a little girl recently suffered lacerations to her mouth, cheeks and tongue after swallowing glass found in one of their sandwiches, and they were worried about a repeat. (I also learned from this article that a foreign object that makes a food item undesirable is called a "mealbreaker." I like that word. I think I will use it the next time I accidentally make myself gag when I crunch into a tiny piece of stray egg shell in the omelette I've just made myself. You laugh, but... it's happened.)

Three weeks and not so much as an apology. How hard is it to just say "We're sorry you almost ate a piece of plastic. Here's half a sandwich to make up for the one you had to waste. It was our bad." to keep a longtime customer happy? Not hard. I worked the customer service line for [a big computer company which shall remain nameless] a while back -- we were authorized to basically give away printers and other peripherals left and right like it was going out of style, as long as it satisfied otherwise unhappy customers; if Subway can't spare six meatballs, a couple of slices of provolone and half of a roll to keep my business, then I don't think they deserve it.

EDITED TO ADD: Actually, interestingly, from the sounds of this article, it seems like they may have had me and Laura Clark, the little girl's mother, confused for a bit there. Maybe.

FURTHER EDIT: It's been brought to my attention that I should have contacted the franchise. Though the woman from the insurance company told me that the franchise had been contacted, it seems entirely possible that corporate neglected to pass along the incident.